Friday, November 18, 2011

Emo

I can't tell you how many times in the last week I have cried. Blame it on hormones, it's my best guess. When we visited the new school will Mayan be attending, I was a wreck. She's had such a hard time where she's at--her first expereince with public school, and within just a few months it's dimmed her lights and dampened her spirits, she's been categorized as the freak and the bad kid. Standing in the lobby, clients and friends streamed by us, warm and welcoming, dancing eyes asking "are you guys in??" It was too much for me to hold back and I lost it. Clearly, that was a good reason to get misty, but it doesn't stop there.

I cried while I watched on tv the Occupy March, not a movement I have been particularly close too, but passionate groups of people together always get me. (Take note in case you ever invite me to a parade.) I had to turn it off when a scuffle between the police and some protesters broke out. I was so worked up I ended up taking a Valium. I also cried while watching Robyn videos, then choked up twice later thinking about those videos. That's also not a surprise, I am often moved by pop music. Also, I fought tears two more times just telling the story about visiting Mayan's school. I cried over the fact that my neck is still fucked up and I'm worried it will affect my running and cleaning schedule. I bawled over a friend's blog post.

While all this is within my normal relm of tear jerker territory, I'll confess the three things that made me cry today: first someone took some papers from me in a brisk fashion. Then the gas attendant couldn't take my cash and I had to unclick George and go all the way inside to pay. Finally, I spilled over about the complete relaxedness of George's lips when he fell asleep in the car. Granted, there were Robyn songs playing during each of these instances, so maybe I was already on the edge.

Oh, wait! Thought I was done...but no. Just pulled away from the school, for Mayan's final day and she rolled her window down to say goodbye to her math teacher. He's a friendly, rosy-cheeked fellow and called out "Bye! Good luck at your new school!" I gripped my steering wheel, and turned away as quick as I could but it was too late, there was serious welling happening....I really hope this passes before thanksgiving.

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