Thursday, November 17, 2011


In Blake and I's previous years of shitty communication, cell phones were a source of huge stress for us. We'd developed this unhealthy assumption that we should in theory always be able to get in touch with other and we began getting spoiled with this convenient technology. Reality meant a lot of missed calls, oops-my-ringer-was-off, shit-my-phone-died, why-can't-you-pick-up-I-need-to-ask-you-this-question-NOW....and then, from the bill-payer, the "forget these stupid things, I'm canceling them tomorrow" threats. Those moments were the worst, and I felt really powerless. It was an example of a larger problem: our co-dependent relationship dynamic.

A few years ago, in order to grasp at some independence, I decided to begin cleaning houses once or twice a week for pocket money to buy the one little device my heart desired: an iPhone. While Blake focused on the negative aspects of the personal technology invasion, I merely accepted them as some annoying side-effects to a much larger picture of awesomeness. From what I 'd seen of the iPhone, it rocketed well past the average cell phone, and would become a life-managing tool. I had iPhone fever bad! Blake wanted nothing to do with it--he was still using the pay-as-you-go 7-11 phone. So worth it to me it was, that in order to make it happen for myself, I decided to face my fear of working outside the home and market myself as a non-toxic house-keeper. A steady roll of clients fell into my lap, the pay was great, the hours flexible, the people very cool, and besides having cash and iPhone in my pocket now, I also felt really good about helping other families have happy homes and I loved feeling appreciated. A win-win.

As my cleaning days are winding down for the next phase, I am grateful for what I've gained: besides the phone, the ability to get my first credit card and keep it payed down, building a name for myself, the feeling of a job-well-done, and saving up for a few memorable trips that I paid for all on my own top the list.

As part of the Change, I don't feel under appreciated at home at all (by Blake at least, the kids could use some work:), I am in a home now that I find less-isolating and more manageable so I'm not itching for freedom the way I was in the past. Blake and I have worked very hard on using things like cell phones and text messaging as a supplement to our (new and improved!) healthier in-person communication; it is no longer a symbol of our out-of-sync-ness. I'm thrilled to report that Blake has given in to the "dark side" and has his own iPhone now. Praise, Jeebus!

Our phones are in a better relationship, too--a constant stream of loving banter, picture heavy flirting, details going back and forth to manage our life together, documenting our adventures from our own perspectives. Other than all of these obvious communication uses, I love the little things that our phones allow us to do to help keep us connected, and me more organized. I've put a few examples below, many of them involve shopping decisions.

At Old Navy, text to to Blake, to show MG: "Ask MG which one"

For myself, pic taken from a magazine while waiting for a pizza of a cocktail recipe

One of many Ikea pics, to document the items we want to buy for the new house, providing me with the item to show B, the price and dimensions

I always have problems with these people and payments so I took a screen shot, just in case.

From Target, text to Blake: "what do you think of Geo in this? It's fleece..only $7, can u pay me back?"

From Lounge Lizard, text to Blake: "This one is only $200!"

From Nordstroms with MG, text to Blake: "She wants these. They have zippers inside."

From a taco truck, menu for future reference

From the Rack, texting slipper options to Blake

Tell me, do you have these on your phone too?

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